By Tony Billoni
http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/wbfo/local-wbfo-664565.mp3
Buffalo, NY – I would like to salute Walter Quinn, area resident who won a wacky definition contest on additionary.com. He gave us auld lanxiety - the angst one feels every December 31st upon the realization that one didn't keep any of the last year's resolutions.
Whether you pay any attention to New years resolutions or not, we Americans like to make lists and we also like to use natural break points to review and plan, thus the time honored, oft-forgotten exercise of New Years resolutions. Even our federal government has a list of the most popular resolutions and some tips on what you can do about each of them. Just go to www.usa.gov and type new years resolutions into the search bar and see for yourself.
Many experts say we often don't keep our resolutions because we focus on negatives - like losing or quitting something. They also say we tend to aim too high. Usually, an initial thought about losing weight is to get rid of that extra 30 pounds we have been carrying around, hopefully before going the Caribbean in February. That will definitely happen and Dennis Kucinich will capture his party's nomination by Super Tuesday. I have always been one to set my goals for the big picture, and then look for opportunities in the short and mid term to accomplish them. At the International Center for Studies in Creativity at Buffalo State College I have learned many techniques that have helped me over the years to first understand why I should be setting goals, how to get my mind and my emotions around the work needed and then to create the positive actions steps needed to accomplish what I have set out to do.
In that spirit I would like to share just a few tips on how to keep going on your resolutions through the rest of 2008. When we look at a problem or challenge we should ask ourselves two important questions: "Am I so closely connected to the challenge that I can do something about it?" For instance if world peace is one of your resolutions maybe you would want to scale it down by pledging to say one positive thing to those in your immediate circle each day. Question number 2 is: "Am I passionate about solving this challenge?" If you are not so bummed out that your doctor said you should lose 30 pounds then put it aside until you are. Obviously, if you are facing health problems and you still don't have passion around changing you may want to find that passion before it finds you. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the smart guy who identified and studied the concept of Flow says that when we are passionate about something time slips away and we do things just for the sake of doing it. The ideal is to have that passion going in so the effort you put in will be life-giving rather than feeling like a struggle.
If your resolutions meet these two criteria, then make a list of actions you would need to do to accomplish these resolutions. Make this a large list, and have fun working out all the details. The more your resolution action list looks like an outline rather than a poem the closer you are to knowing and admitting all the steps you need to take to successfully meet your objectives. Once you have accepted all the actions related to a resolution you will want to take two key steps. First, divide them into short-term, mid-term and long-term actions. Short term happens in the next 1-7 days, mid-term happens in the next 2 months and long term happens in rest of the year. Another built-in gauge as to how passionate you are will be how may actions you have put in the short term list. We always advise clients that you need to have at least one action to take immediately after the facilitation - as a way to kick start the process. Second, get at least one other person in on this to check to see if you are keeping to your time/action plan. Try and make it someone you can't blow off so easily. Sharing your resolutions reinforces your commitment and hopefully builds strength in numbers.
Finally build in a check in period, say in 2 months. Our minds are free to imagine the greatest opportunities only to have them appear to be unattainable once we set upon the path of action. The check in will let you look at and assess your progress. At this time you may find that you are off track by a bit or a lot, or that your passion is flagging. Ask yourself "Why" or "What's stopping me?" write down all the answers and instead of throwing out or forgetting your original resolutions make some adjustments and continue forward. Some Tibetan Buddhist teaching likens knowing to a graded path. That is powerful in considering our goals and resolutions because it tells me the path to attainment is not about scaling mountains or jumping off cliffs (unless that is your stated goal) it is about slowly, steadily and joyfully completing all that we have set out to do. Stay focused on the joy and have a great 2008.
Listener-Commentator Tony Billoni lives in North Buffalo.
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