By Jim Nolan
New York City, NY – It falls upon fathers to pass on to our sons certain knowledge, wisdom that maybe our wives don't fully comprehend or appreciate. Like how to scratch ourselves. What to look for in a potato chip. And, most important of all, why Van Halen and other head-banging rock acts play so central a role in life's rich pageant.
I'm not saying mothers can't pass this information on, but I am saying that my wife, who was in a punk band in college, would now rather listen to Suze Orman tapes than to the Ramones.
The love men have for noise, however, never leaves us. To our less discerning ears, motorcycles sound euphonious. So do leaf blowers. And so does David Lee Roth.
Today, thanks to some special parenting on my part, my two boys, five and nine, think Van Halen is, and I quote, "awesome." Clearly, the headbanger gene has been passed down. Now it is up to me, as their father, to see it fully develop.
Let other dads dutifully drag their kids to Matisse/Picasso. Me and the boys, we'll appreciate AC/DC instead.
Daughters? They probably require a different approach altogether. If I had a girl, I would take her aside and crank up some Heart. "Princess," I'd say, "this one is called 'Barracuda.'"
Ann and Nancy Wilson are every bit as good role models as Alex and Eddie Van Halen.
Eventually, I expect, the boys will grow away from me in their rock tastes. When I was eight, my parents and I both liked the Beatles. They did not later share my enthusiasm for Blue Oyster Cult - an enthusiasm as inexplicable to me now as it was to them all along.
Still, I look forward to seeing Eddie and George grow in their love of things loud. First time I see them playing air guitar to Lynryd Skynyrd's "Free Bird," well, it's gonna be hard not to brush back the tears.
A lot of power bands have siblings in them Van Halen, Heart, AC/DC, the Bee Gees wait, scratch that last one so maybe my sons will be in a band together one day. Maybe they'll have big hair or matching mullets, and find fame and fortune. And groupies, and rehab, and earn a totally shocking VH1 "Behind the Music" special.
Cool.
One show they will not be able to appear on is MTV "Cribs." We gave those away as soon as they moved into big boy beds.
Listener-commentator Jim Nolan is a New York City advertising executive who listens to us when visiting his family in Buffalo.