Book Description
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love.
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle through adult attachment. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that everyone behaves in one of three distinct ways while in a relationship:
- Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
- Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness
- Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving
Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
Personal Note
This book was suggested to me by my therapist, and I read it back in 2024. I am incredibly grateful for that suggestion because it taught me so much about my own attachment style, I better understood my past relationships and learned what I should be looking for in my future ones. While I am an Anxious Attachment, I have been working towards developing more attributes of a Secure Attachment and I do feel like I’ve made good progress! My current relationship is my first one where my partner is not a fellow Anxious but rather a Secure. While it has been hard at times to navigate our differences in styles it has also been incredibly fruitful for my nervous system to learn that it feels its safest in a calm & secure love.
If you’re willing to hold a mirror up to yourself and dive deep into your understanding of love, this book can be a massive asset in helping you find a style of love that compliments your own best! Everyone is worthy of love and deserves one that makes you feel safe.